Sunday, 9 June 2013

Blogstipated

The longer you stay away from your blog the harder it is to make a post. There comes a sort of constipation for which there must be some kind of blogging equivalent of a fibrous substance that you can ingest (read perhaps) to move things along a little.
What would it be I wonder? What do you find stimulates your literary bowel?
Perhaps a little bit of gweenbrick ...back in a minute...

Hahahaha, he's so good...

but still nothing moves in my crummy creative colon - except bedraggled alliteration.

Maybe a challenge...a writing challenge!
- hang on I'll do a search...w...r...i...t...i...n...g...c...h...a...l...l...e...n...g...e

aha - 'Seventh Sanctum' - 'A site of generators to randomly produce concepts, characters, and descriptions for stories, role-playing games, and art, as well as have fun or combat creative...' blah blah
This could be just the ticket! Ideas for stories that get those fingers clacking away. Click...

In the site a contributor named Clara suggests - 
'A character kills someone. During the story, a character finds a long-lost friend. The story is set in a school.'
uhhhh - no, no movements on that one...

Mike suggests -
'The story starts on a battlefield. During the story, a famous person goes missing. During the story, a character drinks something they haven't had in a while.'
?

Bob says -
'The story starts with me naked and it must end with me riding a horse.'
Where do these ideas come from?

Angela says -
'The story takes place on an island. During the story a sexy girl finds a dark secret. A character is angry throughout the story. the story must have centaur in it. The story ends on mountain.'
A centaur? 

None of the above move me but perhaps I'm being too picky.
I decide to go with the centaur and the sexy girl.

I want to include a map - unfortunately I have to write the story first and I wonder if there is room in the publishing game for an expert map maker...you know - someone who just reads manuscripts in the morning and in the afternoon draws a map for them and maybe a glossary of terms also. I could be an expert map and glossary of terms maker...I'd enjoy that.

Anyhow I need a story first which will be shallow and uninteresting because I just want to make the map to go with it. They always put a map at the beginning, it draws you in...


Once upon a time (I did say shallow) there was a sexy girl stranded on an island. One day she found a dark secret hidden in the sand. The dark secret made her very angry. She took her anger out on a passing centaur, whipping him mercilessly.

The girl wanted to get rid of the dark secret. She carried it to the top of a high mountain to a stark, barren place where there was a sacrificial altar overlooking a terrible cliff.

The centaur, broken and bleeding, secretly followed the sexy girl up the mountain and watched from behind a rock as the girl laid the dark secret on an altar. She held a knife to it's throat, uttering incantations in a language other than Centaurian which, roughly translated, said, 'Now, dark secret, I will give you a shave - since it is your excess hair that makes me so angry!'

Seeing his chance to take revenge on the sexy girl and save the dark secret, the centaur ran at her, jumping high in the air.

The girl heard hoof beats behind her and moved aside as the centaur went sailing off the cliff to his death.

Suddenly the sexy girl wasn't angry anymore. She and the dark secret went home together, stopping for a few drinks at Jack's bar and Grill on the way.

^^
=U=

8 comments:

  1. I have neVer met a centaur, only seen them from a disdance, which is close to distance. Writing is fun da mental.

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    Replies
    1. Esbboston, the only Centaur I've known is the one in the middle and I think my writing is mental fun.

      Delete
  2. I like how the map resembled a stomach to stick with the blogstipated theme I imagine!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ha! Hey yeah, umm yeah I did that on purpose Andrew...Actually it resembles the smiley face of someone who has just got a load off their mind.

      Delete
  3. Yeah. My ass you have any kind of writing block. The map! The bar & grill! You's on FIRE, girl.

    ReplyDelete

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