Friday, 2 March 2012

My Rapunzel

Rapunzel was my favourite fairy tale. It's strangely ironic that little girls who are read this tale are much too young to ogle princes and so I can only attribute it's popularity, with me anyway, to the hair thing and the tower thing - which is what I loved most about it. This is my version...

Rapunzel's mother, the Queen, was off sausage whilst pregnant with her and fell in love with the lesbian rocket scientist who lived below the castle (the Queen didn't want to ravage her rapier - she wanted to browse her broccoli) he he - yeah I know - sorry.
In those dark times lesbians were given a pointy hat and burned as witches at the stake - which put us years behind in technological advancement as great creative ideas went up in smoke.

The two women had a nine month affair after which the Queen went back to sausage and the other woman, scorned, stole away the Queen's newborn child, Rapunzel (who should have been called Broccolini).

Rapunzel was locked in a high tower with only the following textbooks - 'Introduction to Rocket Science and Engineering', 'Rocket Propulsion Elements', 'Fundamentals of Astrodynamics' and 'Aeronautical Engineering' for company.
While other children were watching the first episodes of the 'Simpsons' and 'All American Dad' (the shows are that old), Rapunzel was reading about lift, drag and internal combustion engines and developed an incredibly powerful fuel with a base of hair, spider web and condensed urine.

On Rapunzel's sixteenth birthday she completed construction of a jet engine and escaped marriage to royalty, with years of diplomatic child bearing and assassination attempts, by taking off to worlds hitherto unknown.

The moral of the story?

Never underestimate the power of knowledge.



  1. I love your version of Rapunzel much better than the original...knowledge is power! Thanks for sharing it with us.

    1. Yes - sometimes I wish I'd been locked in a tower with nothing to read but corporate finance texts.

  2. Love this. Beautiful illustration. :)

    I always change fairy tales a little bit when I tell them to the girls. In my version, Cinderella opens a shoe store and becomes a very successful business woman.

    1. Go Cinders! My kids always seemed to pick it when I changed stories - I never got away with it.

    2. Kee actually corrects people... "no, Daddy! You're telling it wrong! What about the shoe store?"


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