Wednesday, 11 January 2012

Remote 'control'

We have six remote control devices next to our television that relate to six devices for our viewing 'pleasure'. We use all of them, that's why they're there, I think...

My techno savvy sister has given me a movie on a disc in a format that requires watching on a computer. It's about a walk in Spain and since I'd rather see it on the bigger television screen I mention it to SOB (Significant Other Being). Too late I realize I've made a mistake...

SOB: 'Do you know how the TV works?'
(Too late I realize I've made a terrible mistake...)

Me, with pained expression and in a small voice: 'Uhhhh'

SOB: 'I'll tell you.'

Me: 'Oh no - why did I - I didn't mean that...I was only joking - I do know how it works - really I do.'
(I know this is going to be like going to the dentist, in fact I'd rather go to the dentist.)

Me - grabbing my bag: 'I think I have a dental appointment..'

SOB: 'No - don't look like that! Just relax and take a deep breath.'

ME: 'But - I don't want to do this right now, don't make me ..please...'
(It's like brain rape.)

SOB: 'Once you know how it works and understand it, it will all make sense.'

Me: ' I don't...oh. just please don't begin with electricity!'

Images of school homework at the kitchen table with my impatient father 'helping me' fill my head as SOB launches into a completely thorough and un-entertaining explanation of how our entertainment 'system' works. I sort of panic because I can't understand and that makes me understand less and he gets frustrated with my lack of comprehension. My ear drums start to vibrate with every word - so much I think they will bleed. Does my difficulty listening to and understanding my husband hark back to childhood issues about maths homework with my father?

The similarities are uncanny.

Don't worry, my ears don't really bleed and even though I imagined stabbing my father with a pencil and SOB with a broken DVD - I didn't.

I don't think this is something I will work out before I die.
In the meantime I have found that I can listen to SOB's explanations if they are through a medium or third person. ie if I eavesdrop as he instructs someone else - someone he doesn't live with, but it's a little difficult to organize. Perhaps we need a dicta-phone or something.

When I speak of this dictation dilemma to other couples I find it's a common occurrence, like back seat driving is - I won't get started on that one.



  1. Usually the most important fundamental thing to understand is the Input button. I finally have my wife s-trained to do this on her own, at least she understands how to switch between the teleBision and computer.

    There just several devices tied to our teleBision. You click the Input button on the remote to cycle through the selections for the different devices.

  2. I'm with ya. I compose most of my blogs in my head while people are giving me techno-instructions.

  3. esbboston - I know...I...can't...I got a dentist appointment...
    Marianne - hahaha right there with you girl!

  4. I know that Movie. It has charlie sheens dad in it. Martin Sheen. He falls in a river in it but does not drown. I preferred him in Apocalypse Now and also involves another river. Mekong I think. With Marlon Brando.

  5. That's the one, called 'The Way'. I wasn't impressed with him in this film either. I liked the other stars and their roles.

  6. You shouldn't hold cds like that. You may end up scratching it :P

  7. I's actually a vanilla iced doughnut that I'm offering to my husband so his mouth will be full and he won't be able to talk to me for a few minutes to give my ears a break...


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