Sunday, 8 January 2012

Batman saves the day

Hi and welcome to Mrs Tuna  who has a funny food blog and isn't MOV's twin sister.
Following hot on the heels of  MOV's 'Bag Lady' post, here's another bag story.

A shopping trip over 18 years ago with SOB (Significant Other Being) and a five year old Batman.
SOB has bought new shoes. He, little Batman and I go into a supermarket and SOB buys masking tape, pencils, a toy and a packet of chips for little B. I pay for goods and being environmentally aware, SOB says no to another plastic bag. Outside the supermarket SOB takes a seat with little B to wait while I visit another shop. I am gone 20 minutes.

While I am gone and with no one to watch over them they wreak havoc...

SOB decides to reduce his baggage by putting the few supermarket items in with his new shoes in the shoe box which is in a plastic shopping bag.
He asks little B for a chip but little B hasn't learned to share.
He decides to buy his own packet of chips He gathers up the shopping bag and little B, re enters the supermarket, chooses a bag of chips and goes to make his purchase.
At the checkout SOB is asked for permission to check his bag.
The checkout lady is thorough and looks in the shoe box, finding the concealed goods.

SOB: "Oh no, this isn't what it looks like...'
Checkout Operator: 'do you have the receipt for these items?'
SOB: 'No I haven't. My wife has it and she's not here'
Check Op calmly takes hold of microphone beside cash register 'code 9 on checkout four' she says and as the words ring out the other operators look at SOB like sharks that have smelled blood.
SOB: 'look this isn't - I bought those things, well my wife did, we paid for them and she's got the receipt.'
Other customers stare at the shop lifter with the little kid in the Batman suit.
Check Op into microphone: 'Code 9 on checkout four, code nine on checkout four.'

Soon an officious looking manager, fat from eating shoplifters, hedges through the line of customers building up on checkout four.
Manager looks through the items hidden suspiciously in the shoe box.
Check Op: 'He says they've been paid for but he doesn't have a receipt.'
Batman is growing restless beside SOB and wants his toy back.
Manager with an important tone to Check Op: 'I'll call the police.'
SOB: 'Look - 'This stuff has been paid for. The girl who served us was on the next checkout, that one' he nods toward checkout three.

The manager starts toward checkout three.
SOB: 'No - that's not her, she's gone. Look - if you check the till you'll find the transaction.'
Manager: 'I not going to to that - that's ridiculous, it would take hours.'
SOB: 'It was only five minutes ago!'
Manager looks unimpressed.
SOB: ' Where's the girl who was there before? the blonde girl?' looks around wildly.
Suddenly SOB's eyes light up and he points up aisle three 'There! the blonde girl!'

The manager calls to a young blonde checkout girl emerging from breakfast cereals who wends her way through the shoppers to the scene of the crime.
Manager: 'Do you remember serving this man?'
The young girl looks at SOB and is thinking...
SOB pleads: 'Remember? I said I didn't want a bag?'
The girl still looks unsure but then notices the little Batman hiding behind SOB and her face brightens 'Oh yeah! - I remember the kid in the Batman suit!'
SOB turns to the big bad store manager 'I think I deserve an apology.'
Big bad store manager turns and walks away.

SOB is a marked man, he doesn't go shopping for months unless Batman comes too.



  1. I s'ppose Robin would be a viable optional escort, too.

  2. Ha ha yes I suppose they thought SOB was Rob in.

  3. Very good story :)I also like batman. The little man has good tastes!

  4. Yes...he also like go out dressed as a soldier - in camo with gun and all...

  5. What kind of chips??


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