Monday, 19 December 2011

Into the Wild

Every day before I post I promise myself I won't check my stats to see if anyone loves me. Don't go there, it will affect the way you do things.
Like Alice I can't keep away.

The first time I visited the stat room I was shocked by the bare white walls and mocking graffiti. 



There was a sleeping white shape huddled in the far corner, the statistician. I tiptoed over to him, got down really close to where I thought his head would be and yelled.violently -
'WAKE UP YOU USELESS SON OF A BITCH! WHAT ARE YOU DOING SLEEPING ON THE JOB? AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE DOING SOMETHING?'

It was no use, inertia had taken it's toll and the poor fellow was in a coma induced by the boredom of a dull job.

The next time I looked in the statistician was hiding behind a spike reading a book.



I was thrilled to see a spike even though it was a small and easy to jump over spike, it was my spike. Someone, probably a frozen drunk Russian, was looking at my blog.

After a while there were more and more spikes and the statistician grew more and more busy measuring and calculating then re-writing numbers outside the stat room door.


The spikes were growing and, with adventure beckoning, I filled a backpack with apples and carrots (because they travel well and I might see a guinea pig), and then I set off into the wild. By the light of a pixalated moon I saw that I was being followed.


Even though it was by a faceless half naked man in a safety vest, I was still being followed and that's what counts.

My new friend and I traveled through the night and by the dawn's early rays we came upon what I now affectionately call the Julia Spike because it first appeared the day I followed Julia Gillard on Twitter.


 At 80 page views high it was an impressive sight among the smaller 15 to 30pv spikes. We drank in it's enormity.

Then we finished off the carrots, rubbed our arses and went home.

^^
=-=


5 comments:

  1. If you feed them, they will come. Mmm, carrots. (I don't think those are quite the lines from Field of Dreams, but they will do. I think that movie had corn. Carrots, corn, corn, carrots. I usually throw in a some peppers, cauliflower, broccoli and make a stir-fry)

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  2. Ta Lilly wasn't sure if anyone would understand...ahh the bloggers life is a lonely life.
    Esbboston - I hope when you make a stir fry you leave out the guinea pigs.

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  3. Oh my goodness! I can relate to this one.

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  4. It's a terrible addiction. I've heard the really cool bloggers don't check their stats. They're probably too busy to reply to comments also. I hope I never get that cool...

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hi! don't be frightened, please leave a comment.

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