Thursday, 24 November 2011

Frogs in Love

I wrote this last night because I couldn't sleep...

It's raining, it's nighttime and there are a lot of frogs outside and no cats.

They're taking it in turns to sing 'Aaarp, aaarp, brrrr, brrrr'.
Hey I just realized whilst re-writing this that they yell 'AAAARP!' and if they get an 'AAAARP' back they say 'brrrr, brrrr'. I don't think I've heard them yell 'BRRR! BRRR!' Maybe “AAAARP!' means 'I'm a boy/girl looking for sex!' and 'Aaarp, aaarp, brrrr, brrrr' means 'Hi gorgeous'.

Writing is like drawing in that way. If I draw something I notice things about what I draw which I normally wouldn't notice.

Anyway, back to the nighttime...
They come down from the trees after dark at about bedtime (whenever that was) and have an orgy in any bit of water they can find, right now there's lots of them in the pool.

The pool is outside my bedroom window. 

Isn't over fifty frogs fornicating on our lawn and everywhere else there's a puddle enough to keep one from sleeping? Although you do get used to them. 

Visitors don't.  A neighbour who was here for dinner once said 'I'd shoot the bastards!' The same guy  told us of a man called Lenny who had frogs come to his verandah each night and line up on the railing while he fed them dead flies from the tip of a paddle pop stick.

I once illustrated “The Frog Prince'. I called the painting 'Promises, promises, promises, promises' on account of all the frogs she had to take to her chamber to find the handsome prince...

But if she had lived at my house she would have this many...

But we couldn't see her out my bedroom window because it would look like this...

Before I screened my bedroom window I had a frog land on my pillow in the middle of the night.

Finding out the thing on my pillow had four legs was a relief. Not that I would take the time to count the legs of a creature that lands on my bed in the middle of the night or that it makes a difference how many legs it has – you don't stop to ask at one in the morning do you?

A friend of mine once found a six legged spider on the window sill in her kitchen. Since it was still alive she made it a pet and kept it in a colander. Even though she kept it well fed on flies it must've been really hungry and eating itself because it kept losing more legs and what sort of mean other spider would slowly eat the remaining legs of a crippled six legged spider?

It lost a leg a day and the leg couldn't be found so down it's gob it must have went until eventually it had no legs and it died – from lack of legs I suppose.

But still, you can put an eight legged frog on my pillow over a six legged spider any night.

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