Thursday, 1 December 2011


Who do you ask when you need some honest input about something you've created?
Whose opinion should you seek when you want to know whether that cartoon is funny, whether that blog post makes sense or if you should take up singing?

Don't ask your family - or anyone else who knows you well for that matter. Ask an expert and preferably someone you've never met before because while your partner, with a strained look on his face, is bending over looking at your pretty picture (which is actually a CARTOON) wondering why the hell you think it's hilarious, or your teenage son, on reading the first chapter of your very first horror/slasher novel falls into a deadly coma, they have other thoughts about you on their mind.

Deep down in their subconscious are memories of...

the way you sometimes fart in public,
they way you lie hopeless in bed some mornings thinking you're a loser, or
the many things you've had a go at and given up on.

They live with the worst of you.

Their minds are tainted by the secret bad stuff they know about you.

Even though they say (with hesitation and in a barely audible and shaky voice)  'Hey...that's...great...' (because they don't want to upset you with the truth of what they see through their 'secret bad stuff' blemished lenses) they can't really see the VERY FUNNY pretty picture you've created clearly because the lenses of their eyes have 'I know you too well' blotches all over them, a sort of 'familiarmacular' disease, generated in the mind by their negative memories of you.

 Healthy eyeball before familiarity

The same eyeball after 'familiarmacularitis'

There is no cure for this.

Ask an expert.



  1. I think I will go get my eyes tested.

  2. got a dose of 'familiarmacularitis' eh? -there's 'alot' around - watch out...


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